Could you give someone a second chance?

This week is National Transplant Week. 

Organ donation is a very sensitive subject. However for me, it is a subject that very much needs discussing. 

Because it's a subject that is very close to my heart. 

Nearly 16 years ago (God I feel old saying that), my Dad was lucky enough to be given a second chance by a family saying yes. 

I cannot even begin to imagine what that family must have been going through, but their willingness to donate their loved ones organs meant my Dad is still with us today. 

At the moment, the UK has an 'opt-in' scheme to organ donation. You sign up to the register, you can carry a card, it's even on your driving licence form. 

But just because you signed up, doesn't mean your organs will automatically be donated in the event of your death and it could come as a shock to your family if they don't know. It is SO important to talk to your loved ones and make sure that they know your wishes, and in turn, you know theirs! 

There are also things you can do as a 'living donor'. Do something amazing 3 times a year and give blood. Sign up to the bone marrow register. Let's be honest, what is a pint of blood every few months when it could give someone their life back?

There are so many questions and myths surrounding organ donation after death and many of the answers can be found here : 

https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk

As I write this, there are over 7000 people awaiting a transplant of some sort in the UK. 

And only 32% of the UK population is registered as a donor.

(Statistics taken from organdonation.nhs.uk) 

So please, take time to at least think about it, read some of the information, talk to people and if you choose, register. It takes 2 minutes and can be done online. Or find out where and when your next local blood doning session is. 

It might just give someone a second chance at life. 

We survived

Yesterday (Tuesday) was our first day as a threesome when daddy went back to work. 

I was dreading it! A toddler and an 11 day old baby. How on earth was I going to do it? To divide my time fairly between the two knowing that G can't wait if she needs feeding and would E understand that I needed to put G first, especially as she is so used to having all of my attention. I honestly thought I would end up like this: 

However, we did ok. Infact, no. We didn't just do ok. We did it well! We even managed to do washing! Everyone got fed, watered and there was a production line of nappy changing. 

We ventured downstairs before Daddy left all dressed and ready to go. The morning was spent waiting in for the health visitor (about which there will be a seperate post). E had a nap when she finally left whilst I fed G and managed to get some lunch of my own (I was very impressed I managed to eat!). The afternoon was spent playing, a bit of playdoh, playing shops and reading books. Was very impressed with E who is getting so much better at words now. Yesterday she did:

Tree, car, shoe and dog. 

Am so proud of how her speech is coming along.  

Chris got home about 5 but then had to head back out for a hospital appointment. Meltdown followed. Bedtime was a slight nightmare as all E wanted was Daddy and G was unsettled but E finally resigned herself to Mummy putting her to bed which made life much easier. 

So all in all a good day and a day which proved to me that I can do it. It probably won't always be as good as yesterday, but it was a good start! 

Grandpa comes to visit

We've just had a really lovely weekend with my Dad and Step-Mum. 

I think when family live away that the time you spend together should be quality time and I really feel like this weekend was. 

It was wonderful to see them and introduce them both to their new Grandaughter. E as ever enjoyed seeing them and playing with them both - and especially the play dough present!! 

We had a lovely walk around the lake at JCB on Sunday. There was an incident with some over-excited geese but I'm hoping that doesn't put E off as she loves going to feed the ducks. 

It was so lovely to see them both and to spend some nice time together. Hopefully it won't be so long next time :-) 

G meets Grandpa

And Grandma Viv 

Everyone loves Playdough fun! 

Friends! Or just acquaintances?

Friendship. A word often used but how often is it truly meant? 

By definition (courtesy of our friends at the Oxford English Dictionary), friendship is the emotions or conduct of friends; the state of being friends. 

A friend by definition is A person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations. 

Whereas an acquaintance is a slight knowledge of or friendship with someone

Technically, I've got lots of 'friends'. But when I really think about it, are they actually friends? They are people I say hello to, chat to occasionally, comment on social media posts etc but a true friend?

To me, a true friend is someone that I don't necessarily need to see or talk to for days or weeks at a time yet when we next do, it's like you saw them half an hour ago.

A true friend is someone that doesn't mind if you don't want to talk. They'll happily sit next to you and say nothing at all. 

A true friend is someone that doesn't need reminding about important things that go on in your life, they just remember. 

A true friend is someone that shares the good and the bad. They aren't afraid to admit when things aren't good - and you can bitch, moan, cry and eventually laugh about it. 

A true friend is someone who, when all else fails, will jump in and help you when you need it most. 

I consider myself lucky. I've got 3 really good true friend. However, I've also lost people who I thought were true friends. Some I hadn't known long, some I had known a very long time who I thought were going to be there forever. I was wrong and that's the past. Some people have just drifted away - were they even true friends in the first place? I'd like to think so, well they were to me, but maybe I was wrong? 

However, over the last 2 months, when the shit really hit the fan, I found friends in the most unlikely of places. 

Clare and Vicki turned out to be people I now speak to everyday. We went through pregnancy together (even though we delivered in totally the wrong order) and it was lovely to be able to talk to them about pregnancy and other stuff. I really wish they both lived closer so we could meet for coffee and cake! 

And then I got to Ward 16. When you are stuck in hospital for as long as I was, you honestly dread the people who you might be on a ward with. Will they be normal? will they talk? are they snorers? 

I cannot even put into words how lucky I was with the people I was with. For most of the time, it was just the 4 of us and it really did become a little family. I think the midwives probably hated coming down to our bay!! 

In Leesa, I met one of the kindest, warm people I have ever met. We went through a hell of a lot together and shared things people who have been friends for years will never go through. Our babies will always be birthday buddies and I honestly hope we are friends for a long time. 

Dawn and Kayleigh again are such lovely people. People who cared. We laughed, we cried and we asked for drugs. Both of them on their own bumpy journey to bring their little ray of sunshine into the world. Again, people who I hope to be in touch with for a long time. 

So be honest, how many true friends do you have? 

WARNING : Controversial Content

I HATED BEING PREGNANT!!!

There, I said it. Some of you will have laughed, some of you will have drawn a sharp intake of breath that I could dare suggest that I didn't enjoy it, and others of you will have silently gone "Me too". 

Don't get me wrong, I loved the outcome, but the whole 'cooking' and delivery process this time round was nothing short of hideous. 

With E, I was really lucky. I had a fantastic pregnancy. I had hardly any sickness at all, I got that wonderful pregnancy 'bloom' people talk about and generally it was a smooth 9 months. It wasn't without it's difficult bits. Extra scans as they thought E might be small, but she was safely delivered, in a fairly easy delivery, at 41 weeks exactly. 

And so, I mistakenly thought that pregnancy number 2 would be similar. How bloody wrong was I? 

We were both delighted when we got that positive test, and the second, and the third! And then the sickness kicked in. Why in earth they call it morning sickness I will never know. It's more morning, non, night and anytime you try and eat or drink sickness. It started at 5 weeks and finally, after some assistance from some magic tablets, disappeared about 28 weeks only to come back with avengence at 33. My lack of appetite and this dreaded sickness probably goes someway to explain the 9kg I lost whilst pregnant. 

SPD - 3 magic little letters that get banded about a lot. I never ever realised how bloody painful it would be. I couldn't go up and down the stairs properly, I couldn't lift Ellie up and even walking to the loo became painful. Just hideous!!!

At our 28 week scan, as I had expected, we got the 'we think your baby is going to be small' line. I thought here we go again and that was about it. 

What followed from 32 weeks was nothing short of ghastly. Not in a gruesome way, just in a mentally and emotionally exhausting way. My movements reduced from 30+ an hour to not even 10 a day, she hardly grew some weeks, we went to the hospital everyday for monitoring of some form, there was all the worry with her heart, it was just too much. 

You will always worry about your unborn child, but this got ridiculous. I know I worry a lot, but most of it was justified in this instance. The worry led to sleepless nights, the sleepless nights led to sickness, the more sickness the less I could eat, the little I ate resulted in a massive lack of energy needed to deal with the worry and the day to day doings of being Mummy to a toddler and a wife.

I was tearful, I was grumpy, my skin hurt to touch, I was so uncomfortable in my own skin I sat on my hands to stop scratching it. I would snap at the tiniest of things, and I would cry at next to nothing. My hormones were off the scale most of the time. I honestly do wonder how Chris put up with me! 

But it was all worth it in the end - just know there will never be a next time. Our family is very much complete! 

Introducing G

On 26th June 2014, after 3 days that I would really rather forget (but will blog about later), our final jigsaw piece joined our family. 

Georgia Olivia entered the world at 17:05pm weighing a small but perfect 6lb 11oz and sharing a birthday with Mummy. 

I can safely say that after everything we went through, holding my baby girl, safely delivered and perfectly formed, was the best feeling in the world. 

We had to stay in hospital for at least the first 24 hours to make sure G was ok but came home Friday night. 

Our jigsaw is now complete and I cannot wait to start our journey as a 4. 

By way of an explanation...

I'm lying writing this back in my bed on Ward 16, Bay 7 at Queens Hospital. And I cannot explain to you the relief I feel being back here. 

Because today was a shocking day that could have had such a different outcome. 

It was a tough week last week. The bump and I were admitted on Wednesday with further reduced movements and showing signs of exhaustion. The plan for Brussel's arrival had yet again been changed. After extensive talks with the Midwives, they got me a second opinion from another doctor. We had yet another new plan. A Doppler on Friday morning and induction on Tuesday 24th June pending all was ok on Friday. 

So off I toddled down the corridor on Friday. You hear stories of people having scans where the sonographer says nothing at all and you think "I'm sure they must have said something". I can safely say they don't say a word. Nothing. And it is the most scariest silence you will ever hear. 

The sonographer thought that she had seen an abnormality with Brussell's heart and wanted a second opinion from the consultant. 3 long hours followed where we waited (thankfully with Chris who had rushed over from work) for the consultant to arrive. She scanned us, she struggled to see, and then she referred us to Birmingham Women's Hospital for a third, and more specialised, opinion. 

The appointment was Monday. There were 3 possible options. Each of them just as frightening as the other. The words Coarctation of the Aorta where muttered.  A condition that would mean a lack of oxygenated blood to the lower half of the baby's body. A condition that would require almost immediate surgery. 

Monday arrived following the shocking nights sleep on Sunday. Chris and I set off for Birmingham not able to find the words but still speaking them in our heads. Both unsure of what the next few hours would hold or where we would spend the night. 

We were met by a Consultant in Fetal Medicine and a Consultant Cardiologist from Birmingham Children's Hospital. My own heart fell through the floor when I saw that lady. What did they know or suspect that I didn't. 

We got scanned and then we got the magic words "All Clear", "There is nothing wrong that we can see". Although some of the views were obscured due to the position of bubs, they have nothing to feel concerned about. 

They have requested that a paediatrician check Brussel straight away and that oxygen saturation is monitored closely for the first few hours but that is it. 

Our baby is healthy. The small, and I think they will be, perfect little bubba that I've been cooking for the last 9 months is going to be ok. 

Relief is not the word. Infact, I don't think there are any words that can describe the feeling to be honest. 

So, in the next couple of days, the final piece of our jigsaw will arrive. Our little family will be complete. 

I cannot thank a few people enough for the last few days. Lots of people have been supportive but some have done more than I could ever have expected. I don't need to name them, they know who they are but it honestly means the world to us all.