By way of an explanation...

I'm lying writing this back in my bed on Ward 16, Bay 7 at Queens Hospital. And I cannot explain to you the relief I feel being back here. 

Because today was a shocking day that could have had such a different outcome. 

It was a tough week last week. The bump and I were admitted on Wednesday with further reduced movements and showing signs of exhaustion. The plan for Brussel's arrival had yet again been changed. After extensive talks with the Midwives, they got me a second opinion from another doctor. We had yet another new plan. A Doppler on Friday morning and induction on Tuesday 24th June pending all was ok on Friday. 

So off I toddled down the corridor on Friday. You hear stories of people having scans where the sonographer says nothing at all and you think "I'm sure they must have said something". I can safely say they don't say a word. Nothing. And it is the most scariest silence you will ever hear. 

The sonographer thought that she had seen an abnormality with Brussell's heart and wanted a second opinion from the consultant. 3 long hours followed where we waited (thankfully with Chris who had rushed over from work) for the consultant to arrive. She scanned us, she struggled to see, and then she referred us to Birmingham Women's Hospital for a third, and more specialised, opinion. 

The appointment was Monday. There were 3 possible options. Each of them just as frightening as the other. The words Coarctation of the Aorta where muttered.  A condition that would mean a lack of oxygenated blood to the lower half of the baby's body. A condition that would require almost immediate surgery. 

Monday arrived following the shocking nights sleep on Sunday. Chris and I set off for Birmingham not able to find the words but still speaking them in our heads. Both unsure of what the next few hours would hold or where we would spend the night. 

We were met by a Consultant in Fetal Medicine and a Consultant Cardiologist from Birmingham Children's Hospital. My own heart fell through the floor when I saw that lady. What did they know or suspect that I didn't. 

We got scanned and then we got the magic words "All Clear", "There is nothing wrong that we can see". Although some of the views were obscured due to the position of bubs, they have nothing to feel concerned about. 

They have requested that a paediatrician check Brussel straight away and that oxygen saturation is monitored closely for the first few hours but that is it. 

Our baby is healthy. The small, and I think they will be, perfect little bubba that I've been cooking for the last 9 months is going to be ok. 

Relief is not the word. Infact, I don't think there are any words that can describe the feeling to be honest. 

So, in the next couple of days, the final piece of our jigsaw will arrive. Our little family will be complete. 

I cannot thank a few people enough for the last few days. Lots of people have been supportive but some have done more than I could ever have expected. I don't need to name them, they know who they are but it honestly means the world to us all.